I was all about Rickey. Rickey was all about Camille. I find life tedious as every body mostly all about self. How is that giving or looking beyond one’s self… Well I have followed my orders and directive to a t. But lol a young beau. Bay I can’t do it like I have ppl.in my life jealous of a memory of us.im not sorry.like I don’t discourage one’s sharing on their lives why should I b shy shame.idk can my heart still be that o full?yup well I’ll say I’ll say

NewLyfe.Its a new chapter a new beginning a new challenge new life. After I get settled i will take some time for myself i promise i could use a serious sabbatical. Been emptied and filled I am grateful thankful. MAY THE BEST BE ON THE WAY.I HAVE SUFFERED KEPT THE FAITH DID MY BEST.YET I PRESS ON TOWARDS THE MARK OF THE HIGH CALL.AMEN.GBY EVERYONE THING I WISH YOU WELL MY THE FATHER CONTINUE TO PROSPER THE WAY.TILL NEXT TIME..PEACE BE UNTO#the little widow who has a Big God

New leaf

I wonder how i will fair alone life journey w o mate or children. Its exciting at the moment the expectency of possibilities. I am blessed to be adopted to the sonship of Christ. I’mpossible

Who pre schedules a scream i did.it’s like i been holding it for ever now.2 yrs+and i have a life journey of screams ahead I’m sure. I’m frustrated in all areas of life sure there are moments days were i ebb flow.for the most part feels like a pressure cooker.been offered meds by my dr.but i d want to feel anymore empty than i am.i feel helpless to say the least.consistency in ppl is a dream to me.it occurred to me that there is isn’t anyone soul who has physically been active in my life for my lifetime minus my late hub.not parents not relatives not friends.it’s alienating to know that I’m only a choice in comparison def.not a priority.spiritually challenged.financial standings destroyed. esteem weak. my existence is mortal. I pray work rest repeat.i indulge in hobbies etc et i get a kick initially but then I’m back to it.like I’m visiting in life with a stranger called me. Daringly discovered though are the facts I’m lovable capable able too.to do whatever it is im here for .i have hope to be well to live a good life to maybe even have a family of my own to feel really happy and have it be pure simple. Constantly on defense bc i know im gullible to a fallible fault bc i genuinely love all ppl.good bad ugly bc we are just fragile creatures who are playing roles on the life stage.if Jesus wept. then any1 claiming strength all their own are deluded. Still i guard my heart to avoid being gurded by the uncaring. So fostering relations isn’t easy. The scariest thing isn’t the dark it’s to know your physically there alone. What’s around to bend leaving the middle of the is enough to make me as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.Yet I’m curious lol. It wont always be this way

O honey childless. I was quite concerned to find that there’s limited resources for you and I going through what others women and men with children face. The lost of a lifelong spouse,or partner. To be unheard unacknowledged by our own society as human beings who need help directly and indirectly to heal. I didn’t have a choice but to return to work so prompt seems unfair. As so I have a few screams on my to do list… One day. Unexpectedly impromptu as the incident was . How to celebrate the life of a loved one by going on to become achieve trust in predestination.. Let the journey begin

Soul Survivor

Grief is a journey. It doesn’t dissipate because the loss,event is over . For me it has become a part of me that is both welcome and unwelcome.

First blog post

Firstly I am grateful to God for giving me that humanessant emotional overflow valve that allows me to believe there’s more this can’t be just IT all to life Oan Sweet release(to cry). When I do release I’ve come to find it’s not

just cleansing for current loss but also all that ails one’s fragile Soul. Secondly,when unwelcome,I want to run hide from life,fear of what is and what if has me walking a very thin line these days. I sometimes feel like I’m scarred and though not visible to the eye others notice right away. When my husband was alive I felt like nothing was impossible. 23yrs.We shared thick thin. rich poor.ups downs.good bad ugly. Bill and Hillary we dubbed by dear friends. Back to back. Us our faith taking on come what mayest. When we got the news 2013 it was life changing no one expects the your dying speech at a young tender age of 46. His illness became the giant we took turns slinging rocks at daily all day. “Like running against time”is how I’d explain life then. Prayerfully at all times over everything everyone is a secret that held us together and keeping me yet grounded today. For me it’s about a relationship not religion of the universal God who has all power and able to do more imaginable. We faught the good fight BAE received his robe. Now i grapple and fight to see his face. Obstacles come from every direction to seemingly provoke me off the lighted path placed before me. Yet my soul has tasted and seen what’s good even through life’s bitter lense on the worse day.Lord your WORTHY of worship praise. Before you took my husband you gave me a husband. If you’ve ever experienced what loss it leaves you devastated,financially ruined drained. Yet in the matchless name of Jesus for having true love I’d do it all again indeed. Hubby told me countless times he would watch over me and I know this to be true. Weirdly I’m not creeped out actually it’s comforting reassurance. To receive divine confirmation that the Soul survives the journey,is a whole new realm in itself not that i wasn’t aware. Just ever more keen watchful.

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